38th post - my intention is to tell anyone out there.. there are marriages which starts of rough (like, eh?! aper ni? where honeymoon period?).. gets REALLY rough BUT it sure DOES get better.. it does get CALMER.

in the midst of it all.. always be honest in your private conversations with Allah.

my husband came home with a throbbing headache.. his face pale.. for once he said he did not want to watch TV "to relax" as he usually does.. he went to bed quiet then out of the blue he turned and said.. "i am happy to have met you. i feel happy you are my wife.. i love you.. so much."

i honestly thought he might die in his sleep.

then i thought urm, maybe i'm the one that might be dying in my sleep contented that i will meet Allah in the best of state cuz my husband is happy with me.

nobody's dead as of this morning though.

hah.

marriage is a journey.. a partnership where both individuals need to have at least that raheem (mercy) between each other. to understand we both have flaws but we both are as well with some good to contribute to each other's wellness.

Allah starts off introducing himself in Al-Quran with the Basmalah.. telling us HE is the Most Compassionate and Most Merciful so if you are expecting HIS mercy with all that crap we do on a daily basis.. how can you not be merciful towards HiS creations.. especially the one HE has gifted to you in a form of a spouse.

we both have started talking about that mental picture in our mind of what we envisioned our early retirement will be.. where we will be.. how healthy we can be.. how calm in assurance we can be.

mine is with the sounds of calm waves and chirping of seagulls.. sipping my favourite tea in my home balcony appreciating the calm of the ocean and crisp fresh cool air.

i see my husband behind my open balcony happily fixing his favourite fruit salad and mighty herbal brew over the white marble kitchen island in my dreamy open concept kitchen.

his mental picture? is feeling the Kaabah in his palms & cheeks.

ok. now i feel spiritual shamed for not thinking of religious aspirations. heh.

we think that when we do istikharah prior to marriage, we are set to be in a successful happy lasting marriage.. that is unrealistic expectations.. we will then question ourselves when the tide gets rough. how many marriages i have seen in my line of work that end in divorces and the worst of court cases even after the "assurance" of istikharah?

istikharah is your guide then.. an assurance that a choice is made with His Guidance. success or failure is our own perception towards a situation. be assured that everything happens ONLY by HiS permission and it happens FOR us not to us. there is always lesson learnt, characters to be developed and wisdom to understand and tranquility in acceptance.

all i can say is marriage does not start after SAH! or "i do"... it starts when you look at your spouse and say, "how the bleep did i marry this person?"

tu pasal aku cakap.. mesti ader sifat Raheem. dia pun manusia. dia pun buat salah. samer lah kiter pun. paham tak? =)

37th post - thank you to the enquirer "Unknown" for your question. it is always a good moment when i get to stop and breathe my Tareem memoirs back to this current moment. one can get so caught up in the busy of life.. the heartbreak of disappointments.. the state where you could only say Allaaaaaahhhh... then HE sends an Unknown to remind you of the sweetness that life could offer.. Tareem was and still is (in my heart) a sweetness i carry but sometimes forget.. SubhanAllah.

Unknown said...

Is Tarim safe to travel these days? It seems like you've been there at the height of the war. So from your experiences, what was it like?
November 24, 2018 at 5:55 PM

dorayuana said...

safety is something nobody can guarantee.. honestly who could. 

i assure you, though in literal words it seemed the phrases such as, "war", "detained at Oman borders for 3days", "a night spent in orange hued skyline of sandstorm & whatever heavy thumped sound in the ground that was", "histeria of buses arranged by concerned countries to get their citizens out", "detained at singapore airport for an hour just to wait for an officer to question what were you doing in Yemen"... i would still firmly say my journey was something i would treasure in the path of seeking sacred knowledge. the phrases might sound dramatic but having gone through it, it really was not at all what it hyped up to be.

for one, amongst all the histeria, Tareem was still calm with nothingness.. and we still had exams going on.. my ustadha still waited for me to come up to her for my day's worth of Quran memorisation.. so much for "war" lah. 

i was safe, always fed well and taken care of no matter what situation i might have been in.. do note i have asthma and even when i got sick.. medical attention was always around alongside pure Yemen honey and seemingly a lifetime supply of habbatusSauda'. 

i have never known what a privilege it was being a woman in Islam until i set my path to Tareem and i never knew the beauty of a muslim man's heart that exudes in character until i got to know Tarimis. sincerity is an understatment.

yes life was hard there in comparison to norms and conveniences of the western world but nowhere else have i ever witnessed pure hearts so attached to the deen. i make du'a everyone of us will get to witness it so much so we get to a point of clarity and go, "huh? what do you mean war?"

these are my personal experiences. it may sound airy fairy or downright delusional to most (i assure you i am the last person to be airy fairy about the deen.. im too practical of a person to ever be that).. but i assure you it is the best decision i made to "halt my normal life" for 3years in pursuit of the gems in Tareem. istikharah.. istisharah (where i got my parents' -read, MOM- blessings).. and tawakkal.

honestly when i got back to Singapore i jumped right back to where i was before.. only much more fulfilled as a human being (and weirdly albeit my absence, i was given a better position and better pay upon my return). i went Tareem not concerning myself of the validity of a certificate from the "not-recognised-by-Singapore-standards school" so i was not expecting any "returns" career wise upon my return. 

much to my amazement mashaAllah, Allah gave me much more.. not only the sacred knowledge i thirst for but in my career as well. Allah is THAT generous YaKareem.

i finally knew my purpose.. i finally knew Allah has always been the one taking care of me.. of everything.. and that my dear enquirer.. is an assurance that everything can go wrong.. but it is actually just about right. go figure.

Allah make ease for you.

36th post - honestly we have no skills UNTIL your intentions are rightfully urm.. right and mashaAllah BOOM you can cook. true story.

the kitchen and me have never been friends. its a Singaporean thing of this generation. back in Tareem, Singaporean girls were often the organised ones.. the ones with ziplock.. the ones who could clean up an entire moulding luggage basement storage and then treat ourselves with our self brought pharmacy to ease the sinus post the clean-up. KITCHEN though, nah.. never us. well maybe just the cleaning part. paham sangat kanaannn..

it was during the Western Summer Dowra in 2014, i learnt that Allah will not necessarily bestow you skills you want but when you made intentions on khidmah.. of being in service towards others, you will suddenly i.e. know how to make cookies to soften the blow of your peers who being in a foreign land, has made them crumble physically and emotionally. you will be amazed then how mere home made cookies makes one feel sincere gratitude towards Allah.

the last i baked was due to school curriculum yet suddenly the 2 minute memory of seeing a Brit schoolmate making apple crumble coupled with another minute flashback of a home economics lesson almost 2 decades ago on rubbing-in-method brought smiles to weary Dowra students. nobody believed me.. heck i didn't believe me. Dada with her Indomie murtabak and rice pudding.. and heiiiii... banat Sangaphura can cook leh.

i was on the kitchen floor with an Aussie convert one time.. a conversation so heartbreaking it stumped me. i had nothing to ease her pain.. what did i have though? a story of realisation that Allah has your back no matter what. i then realised why i got so sick back during school term. i understood her pain. i then shared truthfully my kitchen whip-ups were only practiced during the course of being here.. in the Dowra house. my sharing on intentions and that Allah gives the most wonderous of skills  to equip us in this journey when we work on our intentions.. was then sealed with a hug.

it was my happiest of honour just being the domestic help in the Dowra house. i didn't know how.. i doubted i could.. because i was always physically the weak and sick one in DaruzZahra. i was just honestly happy i finally could be a normal banat DZ who could be of khidmah towards others.. like the rest of banat DZ in school. i just relied on what i learnt.. that hadith on intentions and depending on Allah. cliche? the cringe-iest i'd say but also the the most woke i'd ever been.

i told her.. i have no skills but Allah made me look so cool letting you girls think i got all these figured out. it is the rizq of these special people (her!) that i had the best of health and ability to be a khadimah to them.. even suddenly knowing how to make apple crumble and cookies.

i never got back to the kitchen after that time.. especially being back in Singapore, working and all. marriage then came and i thought, how hard can it be? IT IS OK. for our first home cooked meal, i did mushy rice, grilled salmon that was still ice cold raw on the inside and a sad excuse for stir-fry vegetables.

and yes too i made his favourite red-collared white-polo shirt, blue. BLUE. 

my husband tried to make a joke to pacify me.. on how he ever watched a classic comedy that depicts the life of a newly wed and said the exact same thing happened and that "its normal baby". i still felt like crap though.

i felt lost. i then pulled myself back.. started spending time with me and with Allah.. i took my time in my solah even if i had 5 minutes.. to be present in that 5 minutes.. like back in Tareem. only in Tareem it was a whole lot easier this khusyu' thingy. i just no longer want to be overwhelmed and i stopped seeing myself as a victim.. as someone going through the day balled up in complains of being tired. i imagined "overwhelm" as a prism block that i could see and contain in front of my face. doesn't seem to be overwhelming when you visualize it as something you can contain.. something you can control and then i started to believe i can get a grip on my life. 

i thought about my intentions towards my husband.. towards being married.. that it should be ok for my spouse to see me as someone who is not perfect. i wanted to be ok in being someone who doesn't know how to be a wife yet but is learning and was ok for the moment that i do suck at being a wife. i stopped wanting to prove myself to him and start believing in his assurances that it is ok to make his shirt blue.. ok in not being able to cook well. ok in being human.

as soon as i got that in my head.. i was "bestowed" this blessed 2 months of hospitalisation leave.. my lower abs still pricks like a mother but i now have the rizq of time. of course you need intentions.. but you also need Allah to back you up and give you the rizq of time to practice dem cooking skills. this time though, i recognise this feeling when i'm in the kitchen.. the same feeling i had back in the Dowra house.. that the meals i prepare are with Allah in mind.. in heart.

and thank you youtube... 

thank you AbangGordonRamsey... 

thank you KakNigellaLawson... 

thank you Tasty channel...

and THANK YOU الحمد لله ربّ العالمين‎

 for a husband who has no clue what asam pedas is.

35th post - a married heart has that indescribable tranquility.. mashaAllah. i wish it upon every believing Muslim. ameen.

on 31 December 2016 almost a year ago, i wrote in my private diary in the confines and tranquility of this blessed place.. "Ya Allah, someone else will come right? and he will feel like the luckiest and happiest man alive.. why? because i am his wife. Amin. alhamdulillah for this blessed year." 

i wrapped up 2016 in tears of redha.. telling myself i will be ok.. to hold on tight to whatever little knowledge i learnt in Tareem.. surah As-Syarh was constantly repeated in my heart.. a reminder that being in tribulation just means i am in waiting for my ease. i pat my heart and said.. be still.. this too shall pass and you will come to a point one day that you will be grateful sincerely this ruckus happened.

i had flashbacks of life in Tareem.. da'wah trip in Inat especially.. worse *cringe* and best days of my life.. i then told myself, i survived Tareem in earnest Alhamdulillah, mashaAllah.. and came out of it knowing fully well how to depend on Allah.. time to RE-apply what i learnt. i proceeded (read:- forced myself) to list all things good that happened in 2016 and was still happening in my life then.. being grateful despite.

i turned 37 in September 2017 and i became a wife to a beautiful heart named Mohamed. mashaAllah. the legal union happened 3 months from the ta'aruf. within a month of family's blessings.. i had a proper Malay wedding organised by family and friends.. like proper pelamin.. baju nikah songket sanding sirih dara pulut kuning and abg2 silat proper wedding. MASHAALLAH. MASHAALLAH. MASHAALLAH. surun surun surun #habitbanatDZ. heh.

me and my husband had no part in it at all. its called hadirkan badan aje. heran? tak. moral of the story; with any decision to make there are 2 that needs to be in place.. 1) redha from Allah 2) redha from mothers (biological or not) and for those whose mothers have passed -Allah grants them Jannah- seek your blessed trusted teachers. the rest will then fall nicely in.

the very lesson i learnt in my path to Tareem.

we wanted baraqah in our life.. to not be in a state of anywhere near vice.. to love halalal wa taiyiban. all we had were strong intentions. Allah knows how strong those intentions were and Alhamdulillah it was in line with what Allah wanted for us. we always reminded each other about this. always we say mashaAllah ever speechless in gratitude.

Ya Rabbi.. may all the singles be granted ease and guidance in gaining your Your Gaze of Rahmah in their search for a blessed marriage.. may they never lose hope and for them to always be reminded to make du'a for their future spouse ESPECIALLY if they do not know who or where they are. Ameen.

why make du'a for a person you don't even know if he or she exists? its called tawakkal and a test of faith on knowledge that Allah words are true.. that HE made us as a pair. 

34h post - when something triggers your unhappiness, visit it. Even if you don’t know how to fix it yet, recognize that, "I’m not feeling OK."

“When something triggers your unhappiness, visit it,” Gawdat

its like thinking back to what you ate when you start to feel a stomachache.. even if you don’t know how to fix it yet, recognize that, "I’m not feeling OK." 37th year of ah-ha momentness.. if there is such a word.

will 17 October happen? it will; Alhamdulillah.. it won't; Alhamdulillah. its not about making mistakes, its about being assured that even if you make mistakes, you will be able to grow through it; better.

you lived through the process of Tareem; so really, be assured Allah has always and will always have your back. if its meant to be, it will never miss you. we learn, we grow and we help others later to learn and grow from similar experiences as well. visit the pain and ask.. "so, amaciaamm.."

33rd post - 6 months came and went.. the impact.. surreal. honestly when Allah says, "that is MY decision for you.." you'll let go.. sooner or later. be happy that the choice was not yours.. it was Allah's and be assured that from obeying HiS command, much rewards will surface.. and with redha (slowly but surely) you will learn to grow with the pain and appreciate the lessons learnt as treasured gifts.

6 months.. i am thoroughly exhausted. alhamdulillah. i can feel it. the exhaustion.. physically and spiritually. between that ruckus and my 7-day workweek for the year.. i have yet to stop. i just kept on going. this would be my first "stop" for the year.. i love coming here to invigilate exams.. its my breather.. everything's quiet in the 2-hrs.. well, except when the paper is in Arabic and questions on what this or that word means.. is recurrent throughout the period. then i cannot blog lor..

at one point i did get scared i might crumble from the awful, literal "pain".. especially that time.. but Allah's creations are in pairs and with hardship comes ease.. walking pass the glass library then.. seeing Mufti seated facing the shelf of books immersed in research for the good of our community.. his expression "heavy" yet there is an aura of soothe that surrounded him.. a soothe i needed for that while. i stopped in my tracks and tears welled in my eyes.. just a glance of Allah's Nur that dressed this blessed scholar, lifted my moment's gloom.. and went along my day, i did. felt a little silly though cuz in comparison to his, my "life challenges" are a speck.

thankfully too, dinner with my godparents before they flew off to NZ was a much needed positive surge to carry on with my chin up. always could count on Mom for good vibes.. she's like a walking dictionary of morale booster quotes and Ayah's words of.. "don't rush.." reasonated well with me.

guess i felt like a ticking time bomb of late.. i had a constant soft nudge of a voice in me.. telling me to slow down and take time to heal this.. that if i don't.. i might just.. break. alhamdulillah for Allah's gems HE surrounds me with though and today upon hearing the possibility of the 3-week Visit Tareem that falls nicely on those dates.. i had a little glimmer of understanding why i had to go through what i did and inshaAllah.. that time will then be my rest.. my soul food replenishment.. my reflect mode. i might just go on a crying binge then.. but i know it will be for gratitude of understanding.

they say when your heart gets stomped at, that excruciating pain.. you wonder if you'll ever make it..

you will. 

the pain is just different after a while.
embrace the pain and grow with it.

the trick is, every morning, just get dressed and be out there.. never be afraid of the emotional roller coaster throughout the day (read; days) cuz for one thing, PMS is bleedy (no pun intended, betol) real. be grateful for what you have currently.. in this present moment.. be it that new system to focus on at work.. those teenagers to geleng the kepala at when they turn up for class in tapered pants -ikr-... people who unknowingly are your rock.. then later on down the road, you will know why you had to go through it and as life has taught me so far, it won't matter by then. #ahhaamoment

this is dunya.. as what Sheikh Hamza Yusuf used to say (like omg can you believe he is coming).. the dunya is designed to break your heart. Ya Allah, don't make this dunya my biggest concern. i try to dispense this concept to my "weekend children".. timingly.. i.e. when their beloved, majestically expensive ear phones goes missing.

 i swear.. SO cute. hah.

32nd post - when you are surrounded by friends whom you know are special.. really really special in their ranks with Allah, you say MashaAllah.. Alhamdulillah and strive on with a heartfelt Bismillah.

i was reading the letter -like an actual letter- post mailed -i mean seriously who does that anymore- by my mate Elly *go Rosyth!*.. typically she will be jet setting around the world but she still remembers my birthday. the last i saw her was at her swanky pad before i left for Tareem and always i kept her in my du'a throughout my years there. 30 years of friendship.. she didn't need to go to Tareem to be given the wisdom of what companionship is all about. she has this humble desire to learn the true ways of Islam and humble is what she is albeit her independent Sascha-Fierce ways.

Allah gifts us special friends to "accompany" us in this journey called life. make loads of du'a to be surrounded by the most blessed of heart companions in the form of friendship or teachers. this is WAY different from the must-always-meet/contact-to-catch-up.. must-always-be-around-for-each-other culture-influenced relationships. on the other hand the companionship i was referring to comes with benefits for the akhirah.. just by the mere thought of them gives one strong boosts of esteem needed to tell yourself, "ok, we -as in me and the 4-languaged voices in my head; don't ask- are good now.. let's refocus on our purpose here in this dunya.." *cue clap clap & new zealand blacks firm holler* i have a weird thing for them. apsal seh dora. ok, bygones.

in my own personal journey i realized it takes a whole lot of self-cleansing just to gain a glimpse of their works or their companionship. they aid you in the path of pursuing better in life and for that Allah makes you remember and mouth every single one of their names in your du'a cuz really, their aid is at times a touch-and-go yet leaves a lasting impressions.

the APEX mentors.. my first brush with madrasah students in the blessed environment of WakTanjong.. the sajadah lady in Masjidun Nabawi.. amazing personalities i call colleagues AND good friends.. the Canadian Dowra heroes in AbuDhabi.. the Aussie converts.. Allah yaftah 'alaihum.  

Alfi Sanaa.. my bunk mate from Indonesia. she passed me a note recently via a Singaporean student returning for the holidays with some selawat water in her bottle. she wrote that though i have left her physically she reminded me that we are strongly linked in our hearts and du'a for each other. she was the one i could count on before for ihya al-lail on blessed days to join me for solatul hajat for my personal of reasons. this was our way of helping each other.. this was and still is our friendship.. the link is our teacher Habib Umar bin Hafiz who is really (like aahhmagawddd) present in our subconscious -SO don't know how to explain it well-.. the core is Rasulullah s.a.w. and the goal is always Allah.

i knew Thana back in Tareem. her calm yet cheery cheeky outlook towards life is heartwarming.. one would not even begin to think she had any less despite the cute hearings aids she has to wear. she read lips well.. too well.. lolz. she has since returned to UK and every Friday with the best of intentions, she texts me hadith or an Al-Quran verse for fawaidh.

she doesn't know this but it is always very suited for my current state at the time except 2 weeks ago when she sent me a verse about grieving and i remembered telling myself.. "urm, im quite over the moon in my "new world" now.. what grieving?" yet today... i asked her for the verse again..

cuz i needed it.

Dada.. she is Allah's mercy upon me mashaAllah. cuz she is in Singapore with me. yay. well, at least for now. it is akin to having DaruzZahra resident teachers who are ever ready to extend answers to you at any time of the day and to provide you with slaps (of course not literally) to wake you from unnecessary emotional indulgence. 

oh yes, we terrorize our residents teachers almost on a daily basis back in the Dar to entertain our most quizzical of questions and decipher our oddest of dreams. we were always welcomed with their ever patient ever knowledgeable ever delicate ways which always leaves us ever weirded out ever whoaaa.. that they always have the best of solutions. mashaAllah.. surun 3x (uh i was itching to say that. heh.) 

my question this time round was with regards to a video on Al-Quran negating sadness and how Rasulullah s.a.w. made du'a to be protected from worry and sadness (i actually make that du'a post every solah without immersing its meaning till now).. and as usual Dora needs tafseer & tadzkirah.. and that is why i say Allah is Most Merciful for having Dada at arm's length. i was a wee bit confused cuz we learnt that heartbreaks and tears are one of the ways to a softer heart.. a heart of Nur.. a heart embedded with Al-Quran so Dada explained.. 

This is sadness yg dtg from our disappointments in life. From not achieving or getting what we want. But sadness for Allah and complaining that sadness to Allah is a good thing. Likd nabi ya'qoub in the Quran says: i complain my sorrow and my sadness only to you my Lord. 

Rasulullah sollahu alaihi wassalam said to Sayyiduna Abu Bakr like what is mentioned in the Quran. Don't be sad Allah is with us. So both sadness pun from Allah. But the sadness that is forbidden when it is not for him and you don't go back to him. And this becomes the door for syaitan to enter.   

And both sadness may look the same. But in reality the hearts whom is beating of Allah's name is not the same with the hearts whose grieve engulfs them and make them forget Allah the Almighty 

mashaAllah they actually think alike.. somewhat conspiring to make me feel better without realizing it.. now how can you not believe in the Greatness that is Allah? *wipes tears*

gawd PMS is for real.

31st post - Ya Rabb, you have taught me to seek your signs and guidance, sometimes embedded in a little heart's whispers.. "if it is not true what others are saying, why then let it eat my gut out?" bygones. as what a friend would said, LET IT GO. *cue channeling inner Qayyum-ness* this was one of the reason that leaving everything for Tareem was an easy choice; cuz i was not surrounded by walking examples to shine a light to my questions.. questions i didn't even know needed to be answered.

even after a year, i still amuse myself with, "welcome back Dora" self-sniggers in my heart when facing walking contradictions. of course, it is my own heart's filth that caused me to see or experience these -i won't deny that- and so i just well, let it go and let Allah deal with it. my main concern is always what is my current state in my relationship with Allah? if that is on track.. all else will. though in my worst of moments i would appease myself by saying, "Allah Yahdesh! i will claim all their good deeds from all that fitnah.." yet this would then be an instant dora-tolong-istighfar moment when i would breathe, reflect and of course chide myself with...

"like, seriously babe.. if you didn't have that in your heart, how could you have ever known it was gossip or fitnah or primitive thinking of such elementary most narrow mindedness of a society who should REALLY like ahhhmaGawddd step outta this small dot to experience well, life." 

yes i did utter that under a single murmured breath. i have this talent it seems. that "talent" used to be loud and verbalised.. now, im old calmer. it is now easier to let go -i think- by just mumbling a fret.

alrighty. with THAT outta my system.

the annoying gut -literally in my gut- wrenching is still here. well, i think this is the jittery gut wrench talking with regards to a slight yet whole other matter. it did get quite bad earlier.. but that i realised was due to well, THAT. i know it is bad when i would, in the middle of nothingness of the day, reach for my Khulasoh and recite the du'as from the ratib of Sheikh Abu Bakr bin Salim (may Allah be pleased with his soul) to appease whatever unease i am experiencing. it just takes me to Inat.. THE Inat. where the ah-hah moment Allah has gifted me lingers in my heart.. where i learnt -the bleedy hard way- that hardships, when arrived at your doorstep, are not meant to stay.. they are meant to pass. the learning lesson and ease after patience has been grittingly put in place, will come. it just will. #saborje

i am jittery for i have this overwhelming feeling i am on the verge of making another big decision of my life. the 1st was to Tareem and now in continuation from Tareem.. of keeping my dreams alive.. a dream i never thought i would still have. Allah is Amazing. just when i thought, ok, im good.. i'v pursued my goal and now back to normality.. which i actually am content and grateful for. 

and then out of the blue, a slip-up from an unknown and subhanAllah BAM!!! a nudge out of nowhere that my dream can be my reality again.. for a lack of a better term, upgraded.. the Arabic language, the language of Al-Quran.. of the people of Jannah.. the chosen language.. how could i forget the sweet taste of conversing with it? Ya Mu'min.. when Allah opens your eyes.. HE opens it with your heart and so it seems well, HUGE. at least to me *hyperventilates* 

see, when you take a leap of faith just once and return from it awoken.. Ya Allah, you just wanna do it again! its not an addiction.. it is that heartwarming assurance that Allah will take care of you. period. i want to experience the world for the best of my akhirah again but this time; accompanied, mashaAllah. Ya Baasit' make ease for us. Amin Ya Rabbal 'Alamin.

WHEN YOUR INTUITION SIGNALS THAT YOU'VE FOUND 

SOMETHING OR SOMEONE TRULY RIGHT FOR YOU 

THE CHOICE BECOMES STRANGELY EASY... Courtney Helgoe

30th post - the Dowra group are en-route home.. such fortunate ones mashaAllah. their steps are winged with honour.. their dhikir tenfold.. their du'a stamped APPROVED. that last part is priceless. being a traveler is one; being a student of knowledge travelling in search of knowledge.. mashaAllah mashaAllah mashaAllah.

and soon they will reach the shores of Singapore. the familiar spotless airport.. the expected hour-long ICA friendly questioning (oh come on they are just doing their job to protect the country).. the relieved faces of your loved ones behind the glass wall as you wait patiently at the luggage belt for your seasoned belongings that bear remnants of the deserts of Yemen, Oman and -in my case- Dubai. 

days will turn to months and you wonder to yourself, "did I actually go to Tareem?" shouldn't i then be better? where is my weekly khatam.. my rapid speed Al-Quran memorisation.. my frequent attendance in gatherings of sacred knowledge.. my strict segregation with the opposite gender.. my tongue control.. my simple -and minimal- food intake.. my all black garb.. my niqab.. my subha.. my siwak.. my sadness if i didn't spend luxurious time at tahajjud.. and slowly comes the blame game of "haizz.. its not Tareem".. then a sense of despair starts setting in..

snap out of it and move on striving to be better.

#jihaadatunnafs

if you sigh to Habib Ali Al-Jifri about not being in Tareem, his soothing aura of a smile will be followed by his words of wisdom one's heart melts upon hearing, "Tareem is in your heart.. you carry it wherever you go." and i believe him.

it takes extra effort to maintain the quality of your ibadah. im saying quality not quantity. never be confuse between the two. its awesome though if you feel your ibadah is lacking from the time you were in Tareem. it keeps riya' at bay.. Allah is taking care of your heart. it keeps you hoping for Allah's mercy despite the lack of ibadah you are doing cuz really, your deeds are never the cause of goodness in your life.. it is always Allah's generousity and mercy upon us.

ultimately there will be a time one would feel so detached because guilt hovers around your heart due to the lack of everything in comparison with what you had/did in Tareem so much so it strays you from having husno dzon towards Allah and from being grateful for the now that you have.. na'udzubillahi min dzalik. its these times -though easier said than done- that one should push to make du'a.. to be lifted from despair and have sabr (patience). why? cuz gems will appear.

GEM of a stranger in the bus engrossed in his Al-Quran recitations.. handphone screen clear with a page of Al-Quran, his lips moving silently. GEM of a friend who initially thought of getting lunch but upon hearing the adhan, nonchalantly said, "Allah dah panggil, kita mesti layan.. jom solat.." or GEM of suddenly being told the story in Surah Al-Qasas of the two girls Nabi Musa a.s. helped when they were trying to let their flock drink from the well. the girls were working shepherds as their father -due to old age- can't work but they maintained their hayaa' in that "working world".. and of course my hadith dose from dear GEM named Thana way out in Manchester every Friday morning.. YaRabb Alhamdulillah.. gems Allah allows me to witness to soothe my heart.. THOSE are my Tareem.

and like Tareem, they are aids to get to Allah. your goal is always Allah, never something else.

yes, its a different environment. in Tareem, everybody strives to do good and strives even harder to keep it a secret.. here, you have to cringe in silence every time you see someone "checking in" at a masjid via their social media or when one argues about the khilaf in ahkam and tries to decipher Al-Quran by mere translations hoping to garner attention for being "knowledgeable" or "pious". you then remember lessons from Minhaj Al-Abidin that the litmus test to check if you are sincere in your deed is by asking yourself, "would one drop hints of one's shameful deeds the same way one drop hints about one's good deeds?" 

in Tareem, when one does a service towards others, there is no expectations to have your good deed reciprocated.. one is tremendously grateful to Allah that HE gave the chance to be of khidmah towards HIS creations. here though, you kinda owe your life accepting favors from others. wah piang.

your ears are so used to dhikir and words of benefit that being back here means you get to wonder why affairs of the ultimate unnecessary can lead to endless chatter gossip and you get seriously annoyed at yourself for being associated or worse, actually being the topic of conversation #sad

of course you then reminisce lessons from Bidayatul Hidayah that Allah reflects you own heart in your sight towards others. you see good, you have good.. you see bad, hello.. you have bad in you babe. and so you turn yourself away from these people whose characteristics you are disgusted with cuz truthfully you couldn't stand witnessing your own characteristics mirrored in front of you. depressing i know but its needed #stepstowardshumilty

Tareem is in your heart. you have never actually left that place.. constantly have me-time to revisit those moments through consistent practice. not merely practicing the good but practicing really hard at leaving the bad. jihaadatun nafs.. Tareem has gifted your heart with this knowledge. honestly, when you do falter, snap out of it quick -ok fine, i sometimes give myself a day to play victim in despair- then get up and move on.. the journey has never ended. 

29th post - self doubts will always be part and parcel in the journey of seeking sacred knowledge and in the path of practicing what has been taught.. trust me, its temporary; its part of character building in having not only belief but TRUST in Allah and the ways taught by Rasulullah s.a.w. I am always grateful to have be taught about DAILY istikharahs (the simplest of 2 sunnah rakaat; done just after solatul dhuha to seek guidance in one's daily steps); the one big lesson Habib Umar bin Hafidz equips his students with.

the group of new Daruz Zahra students from Singapore will be leaving for Tareem in about a week's time. it is the titled advice too that i extended to them during a union of not only the new girls & their mothers but also *smiles* my juniors who has just returned for the Ramadhan/Syawal holiday break.

the look of Nur on these blessed people, especially the ones who just returned. their kind hearts are reflected in the glow of their faces and their inner strength and knowledge clearly depicted in their mannerisms. confidence is never loud; rarely in words and strength exuding from softness is a sight to behold. they are still my annoying sisters -haha- but they too are the ones that share bonds deep that can't be explained in words. i am forever grateful to Allah.

i remember a time when my life changed 360deg; my outward form changed seemingly at an instant. many could not decipher and words of hurt and sarcasm were always hurled. at that time, no one felt as i did about learning the deen.. especially about the desire to learn Al-Quran. slowly but surely i distanced myself from them cuz i needed to explore this change with only one voice in my head and heart.. Allah's.

always though i maintained as much civility as i could and in my heart i intended, i will come back to them when Allah deems me ready to be able to reciprocate bad with kindness no matter the circumstances. there is much wisdom in that lesson.. there is much blessings in following that path.. the path of having the adab (etiquette) of being kind towards the creation of Allah. interestingly though, so far those whom Allah chose to come back to my life; they are actually the ones who have never made much hoopla of my change.. they have just been there; encouraging and been around somewhere... just not physically there... yet always in my du'a.

an old friend of mine recently said, "you went MiA for so long.." almost 5 years oh yes i did.. i have friends from the past that have returned to my life though oddly the only effort i made in rekindling per se was my du'a to have people from my past of whom i admired for their best of characters to come back to me... somewhat fulfilled mashaAllah. 

it is amazing how certain things just stood still for that 5 years and coming back to it just felt.. natural. they are reminders of what i was before.. i am now more comfortable being in my own skin; skin freckled from the past and renewed from experience and exposure to the goodness of a new circle of companions who continue to amaze me with their wisdom. 

i am still learning the art of choosing the best of companions which includes family. i have always been wary about cutting ties -which i never want to do- but Alhamdulillah with istikharah and istisharah (seeking council/advice from teachers/learned ones).. the knowledge to stand firm on my beliefs has been given Ease from Allah. thank you my dear Dada for this brilliant advice..

"Bismillah. Yes kak. Do it. Walk away from d person with the intention to reflect, to improve our akhlak , to purify our hearts. InsyaAllah there's a valuable lesson for us. Especially in getting to know ourselves better and hence bringing us closer to Allah. Apapun kak.. kite masih belum ada akhlak yang baik kalau kite tak mampu untuk balas akhlak yg baik kepada org yang berakhlak buruk dgn kita. Just like Rasulullah. Still a long way to go kan kak.. tapi i feel that's my biggest motivation.. so that i won't easily fall complacent.. so in the journey, at times it's best to walk away and free our soul "

seeking council from your learned companions.. amazing aye. it just lifted a heaviness i didn't even knew existed. that advice was so soothing mashaAllah. im like, Dadaa.. pandainya kau.. :)

there are many characters you get to learn from especially from the less than savory ones. in my line of work, the people i have to face daily can pose quite a challenge but it is my onus to always have good thoughts upon them as it is their dire and most times very sad circumstances that made them the way they are. this thought will always then help me to still strive to be patient in handling the situation and be of every help i could be. best part is, my team consists of learned ones of whom i did at one time before leaving for Tareem wish to be a part of. in fact it was one of their traits that got me affirmed in seeking sacred knowledge cuz i want to have that best of character in me as well.

it is a big gift from Allah that i am not only back at the place that kicked off my new learning journey but that i am now a part of a team which allows me to leave home with intentions to not only be of khidmah to my community but more importantly with intentions of a tholibul ilm in seeking knowledge from learned seniors; teachers in their own right who are also now my good friends mashaAllah.

in my own personal life though, i take a while to "get it".. but when i do, i get to choose to be with the ones with the best of characters; muslims or non-muslims, friends or family.. people who when speaking are sincere and kind; truthful yet infused with the best of wisdom and etiquette. humble. the tongue is attached to the heart thus words are a clear indication of the state of one's heart.

these too, are people whom I know will be of benefit to not only better shape my well being but be of great help in helping the society in need. people who walk the talk. people with a purpose in life. Alhamdulillah for the goodness You have and will always continue to surround me with.

28th post - back to working life in Singapore.. been 7 months since i came back, flight return no more.. a wrap-up after 3 years in Tareem. khair InshaAllah. may Allah reward whoever that asked me this question for it is a breath of fresh support for me to strive on here. Allah bless.

Anonymous said...Assalamu'alaykum ukht.
I came accross your blog and Masya'Allah, it amazes me. Can you tell us what is your experience living in Tareem and Singapore? Is it so much difference? May Allāh SWT bless you always :

January 21, 2016 at 8:54 PM
dorayuana said...
wa'alaikumussalaam

may Allah bestow you rizq of His Pleasure always. Ameen.

3years already and all I can say is Tareem is to be experienced, nothing can justify it in words.

what I realized is, there is much truth in;

more dunya = less akhirah.
less dunya = MORE akhirah

Tareem is one of the choosen tools to "get to Allah" and up till now, I have yet to find another place like it but the time has come to try apply it for own homeland. the word is try.

our teachers there always say things to pacify those leaving Tareem....

"TAREEM IS IN YOUR HEART, YOU CARRY IT WHEREVER YOU GO"
as much as I love my own country Singapore (and I really do), I can't deny convenient comforts, materials & and basically everything good of dunya here (mashaAllah!) makes this heart feel not as closely immersed as it was when in Tareem.

it is through hardships that one raises his trembling hands in surrendering du'a.. that one is immersed in Allah.. that one pleads with Allah.. and that is when the heart is given softness and Nur through his tears of remembrance.

this is a practice towards humility.. the goal of seeking knowledge. cuz from humility, one seeks knowledge not for showing off or for the sake of fulfilling his wants & desire to understand... but solely becuz it pleases Allah. sincerity.. have you ever wondered why the surah is called Al-Ikhlas?

it is the ways of the blessed people of khidmah there that leaves one speechless. the Tarimis are people of zikr.. of soft hearts.. and practicers of knowledge... in the knowledge, they believe strongly in the baraqah of knowledge through presence in gatherings, through having good opinions of others and situations, through having the best of etiquettes and especially through sincerity & secrecy of good deeds. I digress.

my apologies for I rambled too much.. my heart goes mush when someone asks about Tareem but I am quite good at hiding it for I do not wish to give false hopes to others who think Tareem is a place you easily have access to having closeness to Allah.

spiritual highs are so over-rated, many fail to understand how much hardships one needs to endure to get to the said closeness hence many then just succumb and give everything up and powder it up with fancy defenses one's limited mind could conjure. sad. sincerely, sad.

that aside, you will learn a lot about someone that will ultimate lead you to that intimacy with Allah. that someone is YOU. whatever that you have been put through, it is tailor-made for you so you could bring it back to your own homeland (even the world over) and be ready to be of service to others.

basically before helping others, you need to know YOU... who you were, who you are, who you will and wanna become.. you learn to be good in your own skin.. in combining your own character with your new found everything.. to not be afraid of being YOU.. cuz all you yearn is to be of khidmah towards those who Allah says, matters, those alike YOU but have yet to find themselves but with YOU they would be able to relate to.

paham tak dia nye best?

may Allah be pleased with you for reminding me of moments of memories of Tareem. you made my day. may Allah fulfill your du'a & hajat and raise you in the ranks by His side.. and release you of accountability of your sins in dunya and akhirah and allow you Jannah without Hisab. Ameen Ya Rabbal Alamin.

dora

27th post - daruz zahra in brief

BRIEF 

Daruz Zahra is a school and a dormitory for its students as well. Currently it houses about 250 students and teachers from countries namely from the Arab region, Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand, Kenya, Tanzania and other African region, Singapore, UK, America, and parts of Europe i.e Denmark, France. 

From a Singaporean perspective the building looks like your typical older neighbourhood schools in Singapore, open top concept, only smaller. It is a 3-storey main building with a huge open rooftop and another 2-storey building in the same compound. The compound houses a main musollah, a main hall, teachers’ rooms / offices and 5 dorms section in both buildings. Only 2 of these dorms, also known as the seniors’ dorm, are equipped with wardrobes. 

The school registration takes in about 350 students both staying in the dorm and outside. As of a year ago, new Asasi Level students stay in a dorm OUTSIDE of Daruz Zahra compounds named Dar Al-Batool. Currently 40 students are housed in the 3-storey apartment. They come to school in Daruz Zahra and are a part of i.e. our school's weekly Maulid, Burdah etc. Students staying in Dar Al-Batool are bound to itinerary of Habib Umar AL-Hafidz too i.e. Tahajjud, Awrad, jemaah prayers etc. and the culture of Daruz Zahra just that they are be stationed in that dorm which is 10mins walk away. 

They get to stay in Daruz Zahra once they complete Asasi programme. Recently due to a large intake, even Ib’tidai and levels above, new students, are housed in Dar Al-Batool but are placed on priority to move to Daruz Zahra when space permits. 

CULTURE 

Each room has between 6-9 occupants from various countries. Students sleep on mattresses side by side (a palm space in between) either supplied by the school or bought personally. These mattresses have to be thin enough to be able to be folded neatly when it is not sleeping hours. Non-senior students will place their belongings around their sleeping space as they will be placed in rooms without wardrobe. 

We have air conditioning in each room which is allowed use during sleeping hours at night and nap time after Zuhur. Fans are allowed at all times though.

We definitely have no internet in this school and camera phones are not allowed for boarding school students. On Thursdays when we get our phones to contact our families (between Dzuhur & Mahgrib here; Singapore time 4.30pm-10.30pm), we get to use only our non-camera phones as explained in my last post.

Electronic gadgets i.e. laptops, cameras, smartphones i.e. my beloved Samsung, will be kept in school office and will be given to students when we get to go out once a month to homes of families whom we are invited to i.e. Singaporean families living outside.

We dress conservatively around the compounds, in long sleeves and long dresses with pants underneath. Tarimi women consider pants as underwear therefore it is an aib (loosely translated as a big NO) for women in Tareem to be seen in pants like you would normally see in modern Singapore culture; even among women in their own homes. This is in the name of hayaa (modesty) and it is practiced well in Daruz Zahra. Alhamdulillah.

in the tarbiyyah (education) of hayaa too, we keep our hijab on loosely at all times even when sleeping (3years later, i am still not used to this). It is also aib to be seen around the compounds with your head uncovered. Some of us just don our towel on our head to cover our hair when going to the bathroom, that is we are THAT sure we won't bum into our Principal, not that she will scold us -she is THAT nice ok- but we will be totally embarrassed with ourselves lah.

There is no intercom system in Daruz Zahra therefore news of change of itinerary, outings, trips etc. are extended from word of mouth and we are to oblige in our quickest of pace.

There is a set daily itinerary which we adhere as part of the tarbiyyah (education) set by Habib Umar Al-Hafidz, may Allah always be pleased with him. this part though, make intentions to come here as a student and immerse in the baraqah of the said itinerary. may Allah make ease in your arrangements to seek and attain sacred knowledge. amin Ya Rabb!

26th post - items to pack to Tareem! essentials for boarding students of Daruz Zahra... ALSO for Summer Dowra students as well, just refer to those items marked (*) for advisable items to pack for your 40 days.

***please note the UPDATED information on my last post with regards to Asasi Awal Muqaddimah (a class prior to Asasi Awal - Introduction per se; for those students who are really new to reading/reciting Arabic.)

just to note instant noodles are a big no-no in Daruz Zahra. by right it is prohibited by left almost everyone I know has a couple packs stashed somewhere for "emergency".. *grins*

new boarding students will be placed in dorm rooms without wardrobes (only seniors will be in dorms with wardrobes) thus you literally will live out of your suitcase for about a year or two before moving rooms therefore 1 big luggage and a bagpack will suffice. opt to use carton box/boxes if you have more items to bring. easily discarded after use.

the bagpack will be handy for going-out trips etc. do note it is considered not of etiquette to use a bagpack for school as books of knowledge are to be sacred and not be placed on your back so bring a spare "messenger bag" / handbag for school.

(*) WHAT TO WEAR BEFORE STEPPING IN YEMEN

(i.e. Seiyun airport; half an hour car ride to Tareem)

Plain Black Abaya (3pieces)

3 would suffice cuz laundry dries in an hour crisp here. believe it or not I only have 1 hanging in my wardrobe for my daily wear.

Custom make your own Black Jilbab & Niqab (2sets)

we have to cover top to bottom including eyes (Daruz Zahra ettiqutte). here we wear a khimar (its like a Harry Potter's cloak that covers you from head to knees - 1st photo). the niqab that you wear inside the khimar covers your face except the eyes). you can opt not to wear the niqab underneath the khimar if you could see through the 2 layers of cloth over your head/eyes. tried tested, not recommended eh. these are available here however it takes a while to wait for the orders to come.

KHIMAR & NIQAB UNDERNEATH

therefore before coming, please custom make your own plain black Jilbab (alike the typical prayer outfit top i.e. telekong top or a bigger version of the typical "tudung madrasah"). you have to wear a niqab (face piece that covers face except eyes; either tied or with elastic band attached to wrap behind your head) if you opt this. refer photo below. niqab-s are readily available in Singapore urm, right? if not custom make that too. my niqab shown below, gifted by my senior, has an additional layer meant to flip back, seriously not necessary especially in windy snadstorms.

JILBAB & NIQAB

Shawls (Hijab; 5pieces)

we kinda not ever use our normal pins and studs as we would in Singapore. we loosely wear our shawls to cover our hair and necks cuz outside we have our khimar over our heads therefore coloured ones are ok. do note unmarried local ladies wear only black and only adorn themselves with colours and makeup etc. after marriage.

but do bring basic plain colours (black, red, purple etc.) cuz there are days when we have events or shows and we like wearing same hijab colours. its a girly thing. heh. but don't worry too much about it cuz we are like a big family here.. we then to borrow one another's stuff.

general rule is, as long as a lady is outside of their homes, only plain black is allowed.

Black Socks

bring a couple comfy ones.

Black "Crocs" Slip-On Shoes (2pairs)

buy those cheap lookalikes available in your neighbourhood stores

Black Pants Underneath your Abayas please. heh.

(*) WHAT YOU WEAR IN DARUZ ZAHRA (OR DOWRA HOUSE) ITSELF

Prayer Outfit (1set)

bring your own first. prayer outfit called gamis can be bought here for about SGD12. i heard of people selling in Singapore for SGD40 *faints*.. buy it when you reach Tareem. this is readily available.

Housedresses (3sets)

long sleeves and just above ankle length. some Malaysians wear their baju kurung. we usually wear our "baju butterfly". cotton is definitely a good choice. short sleeves are acceptable but frowned upon. well, as long as your armpits can't be seen ya.

Cotton Pants (3sets)

we are required to always wear pants underneath our housedresses. basically Tarimis consider pants as "underwear".. *giggles*

Shawls (as per the 5stated above)

coloured shawls are welcome but do have plain black ones too.

FlipFlops (3pairs)

you will wear this and the Daruz Zahra compounds and to the common bathrooms. (not necessary for English/Western Dowra students)

SCHOOL ESSENTIAL

school uniform is your Plain Black Abaya worn OVER your housedress and pants.

White Hijab/Shawl (2pieces)

Al-Quran Mushaf/Kitab that is with translation

cuz we have Al-Quran lessons almost daily and we revise with it often thus bring one that you are able to hold when you do not have your wudhu or during your menstruation.

School Bag / Stationery
i love Smiggle. period. if its not "zuhud" that we are trying to emulate here, i would have opened a Smiggle store right here in Tareem.

Arab-English Dictionary

MP3/MP4 player (equipped with radio; recordable preferred)
its not a necessity but we we always use this for classes with Habib Umar -who is at Darul Mustafa- cuz classes is aired on live local radio. download your own favourite hadith, Al-Quran, audio classes so you could hear it when you are free. we have no internet access in the school so trust me, you will have time to listen to your own favourites. do note too we have suprise spot-checks on our MP3/MP4 so please keep your Coldplay and Beyonce back in Singapore *reminder to myself*

Basic Non-Camera Non-Wifi Handphone
we are given our above mentioned phones every Thursday after school till mahgrib (Singapore time 5pm-11pm) to contact our families etc. Only this kind of phones are allowed in Daruz Zahra. if you want, you could buy it here (takes a while of course) for about USD40 (about SGD50).

Smartphones and Laptops are to be kept in school office and we can only have access to it if we have invitation to go out to homes we are invited to. we have permission to go out once a month to our friends' homes (those with families outside); of course it is as per permitted by Darul Mustafa / Daruz Zahra. we are really like royal princesses who are being watched on our movements and who we hang out with.

(*) TOILETRIES

Hanging Toiletries Bag

our bathrooms are outside of our rooms. bring this along with your own set of bathroom essentials i.e. shampoo, toothbrush, towels, shower gels, face garb; you get me gist aye. after the 1st set then the next batch of essentials could be bought in Daruz Zahra store itself.

please note we have never seen Hair Conditioners nor PantyLiners in Tareem so either make do without or bring your own bagful. heh.

Small Torch
to fit in your toiletries bag cuz electricity cuts are quite frequent especially during the summer and you don't wish to be caught in the midst of your shower in the stark dark. been there done that, never want anyone to have to go through that. however Darul Mustafa and Darul Zahra's back-up generator comes back up within 10mins max cuz the government prioritize our schools.

people living outside are not so fortunate though; they usually live with an average of 10hrs of electricity cuts (when it happens) so for them intending to live outside, bring along portable/chargeable fans/lamps among your pots and pans.. =)

Small bucket i.e. Gayung

trust me you will thank me, especially when you have to go out for da'wah trips at remote places.

CURRENCY

A MUST - USD500 
(deposit to Darul Mustafa; this will be returned to you when you are travelling back to your respective countries. you will hand this over to the school once you reach here).

ANOTHER USD300 - see breakdown below at Registration Must-Have

besides the first two above, bring at least another USD500 to last you a year for your daily knick knacks and toiletries. ATMs here are not advisable to use. if you need more money, have your family hand it to people travelling here.

Total to bring on hand:- USD1,300 or more if you want (it will last you the whole year InshaAllah)

you can change the USD currency to Yemeni Riyals in Daruz Zahra itself.

REGISTRATION MUST-HAVE UPON REACHING DARUZ ZAHRA

Passport Sized Photos 
get ready at least 10 pieces that depicts you in a black hijab and if you can write your full name and nationality i.e. Singapore in Arabic behind each photo. if you can't, don't worry, the seniors designated to help you during registration or our Ustadha-in-charge here can write it for you.

Contact Numbers of Parents & Person-in-charge of your arrangements in Tareem
just have this handy, its typical info needed during registration.

Have the above mentioned USD800 on hand (see the highlighted blue)
estimated breakdown as follows:

1) Visa (est USD40)
2) Blood test (est USD45)
3) Boarding Fee (est USD15 x 1year = USD180)
4) Registration Fee (est USD1 haha.. just had to write it down for info sake)
5) Books (depending on the level it will be between USD10 - USD20; very cheap, no worries)
6) Deposit to Darul Mustafa (est USD500)*

*only the deposit is to be given in USD, the others (est USD300, you can change it conveniently at the shop in Daruz Zahra itself as prior mentioned.



(*) BEDDING AND MISC 
(English/Western Dowra students would not have to worry about basic bedding and linen, we do provide it. just consider the others in the list).

you will sleep on a thin single mattress and a pillow supplied by the school so bring your own single-size bed covers and pillowcase. you could buy your own mattress and pillows after settling in here.

Summer Blanket

Storage Box to put your books
(buy those foldable ones from IKEA)

Chargeable Small Study Lamp
(lights out is at 10.30pm thus this is handy if you want to study through the night)

Alarm Clock
yes, we do have them angels who don't seem to need sleep, who'd be the ones waking us up for Tahajjud or from Qaylulah (nap) but do bring one for the snooze effect should you know you are the kind who'd only wake up upon a mother's yelling.

Eye Sleeping Mask
there are no curtains here so you might want to bring this to help you to nap easy in broad daylight or when you want to sleep early yet your other room mates are still up and about and would only rest till lights out at 2230hrs.

Thread & Needle (Mini Sewing Kit)
for the those annoying tears and hemming you have to do when the need occurs.

Handy Torch & Portable Handheld Fan 
(as mentioned, we have frequent electricity cuts during summer)

Paste-able Wall Hooks (3M ones are good) and Clothes Hangers
as new students will be housed in rooms without wardrobes, these will come handy.

Clothes Pegs
for when you want to hang your washed laundry.

Foldable Sleeping Bag and Mini Pillow
we tend to go ot for Da'wah trips for periods of between a whole day to a week to parts of Yemen as part of our tarbiyyah (eduation); once or twice a year. the places are usually suburban areas where minimalism would be the understatement of the century. it is good training for the nafs especially when one gets to sleep on hard floors, middle of the dessert, dusty mud houses, steel rod bedframes without mattresses etc. you get me gist. this item will also be good if upon arrival, you'd rather your own sleeping bag rather than the school-provided mattress and pillow.

WINTER ESSENTIALS

(between average 27deg to lowest 5deg as I have experienced; dry dessert winter. please note Daruz Zahra is not equipped with air-heaters thus we are exposed to the cold. our rooms are our best warmer comforts. we have hot water available though; not that we shower much during winter. heh.)

Long John Set or Thermal Inner Wear (2sets)

Sweater or Light Jacket

Winter Jacket

Winter Socks

Winter Blanket 
(during winter we sleep with both our summer AND winter blankets)

A really Good Moisturiser i.e. Cetaphil (available at Guardian/Watsons) cuz your feet will crack and bleed if you don't use it.. =/ also if you avoid using good moisturisers most girls suffer from bloated painful skin condition due to extreme dryness. just always note the dorm is an open exposed building alike Polytechnics or NUS in Singapore thus these conditions. its different if you stay in a house i.e you are not a boarding student. good news though, your scaly skin will be back to its supple self after the winter.



(*) MEDICATION

it is quite an arrangement to get ourselves to the doctor so we usually opt for that option when its really dire. most times the girls here depend on pure Yemeni honey and black seed in accordance to the sunnahs. us Singaporean girls though usually bring the entire pharmacy with us in the name of kiasu-ism *laughs*

Normal / Extra Panadols

Flu Meds i.e. anti-histamine
not only for colds but this is definitely good when you develop scary looking bumps i.e. allergic reaction due to the weirdest of insect bites. so far in my 3 years of stay here, 3 Singaporean girls had it. oh yes, me included. panic would be an understatement. thank God for seniors who'd know better.

Medicated Oil (Minyak Angin)
i have never used this in Singapore but here.. anything for relief.

Vicks VapoRub

Nin Jiom Pei Pa Kao (Chinese Herbal Cough Relief - Ubat Batok Cap Ibu dan Anak)
we are such fans of this miracle. really really.

Medicated Plasters (Koyok)
cuz we sit on the floor alot (we have no chairs and desks for school) and it is very common to experience back pain during the 1st few months.

Diarrhoea cum Re-Hydration Solution Packets
our pampered stomachs takes a while to get used to the food here. this ailment is very common. we don't take any medication for this. basically as my seniors would put, whatever bacteria that is inside you will need to come out upwardly (vomiting) or well, southwards. if medication is taken, the tummy will hurt bad and post that, it will be hard to resume normal bathroom "regulations".

Multi-Vitamins (if you like)

Fever / Cooling Forehead Patch
these would be handy cuz it takes a while to get used to the Summer dessert heat so this eases your dehydration related migranes and headaches. i rarely have fever back in Singapore but i had frequent feverish days in my 1st year here. its the change in climate i guess.

Hot Pack / Rubber Bottle
to ease menstruation cramps or for days you are shivering during winter nights.

Insect Repellent & Cream i.e. Mopiko
get those Peel-Stick-Patch insect repellent cuz during winter especially them mosquitoes come out to play in gangs, buzzing among your ears. it mostly due to the fact we don't have the fans blasting in our rooms during winter thus they just hand around our sleepy thoroughly exasperated heads.

IMPORTANTLY if you are chronically ill, bring ample supple of your own medication i.e. Asthma inhalers (only Ventolin is available here but as usual quite a hassle to get it)



(*) FOODSTUFF AND RELATED
English/Western Dowra students would DEFINITELY NOT have to worry about food, we provide it well MashaAllah and you are welcome to use the equipped kitchen. Dowra students staying in Daruz Zahra itself or dorms under Daruz Zahra will need to consider bringing the ones below.

Small Electric Kettle 
this is usually available in seniors dorm (cuz we know better what to pack post our 1st visit back home.. heh) however seniors dorm are quite a walk away from juniors' dorm so if you are like me always needing tea fix at odd hours of the day, please feel free to bring your own.

"Lunch-Box" Container (i love Smiggle ones)
if you are not up for eating meals during normal hours, you could pack it up to eat later.

Mug
for times when you need to fix your coffee/tea or instant soups.

Water Bottle
bring an extra one cuz the water in our drinking fountains is not your typical mineral water or water available in Singapore thus sendiments will be visible after a couple of months if you are those kind who don't bother washing your water bottles really well.

Bottle Flask
if you want to put hot water in.

from my experience do bring dry foodstuff i.e. serunding daging, ikan bilis/kacang goreng, sambal terasi, instant packet soups, Maggi (heh), your favourite biscuits (the only biscuits closest to home available here is Oreo), Nutella, Peanut Butter, Cereals, Milo (the last 4 are available here but really expensive by students' standards and only comes by Daruz Zahra's shop once in a blue moon). 



TYPICAL MEALS IN DARUZ ZAHRA

cooked by people of Darul Mustafa, our meals here are quite dry and simple thus it is very common to mix up with anything we could have our hands on. i began eating rice with yoghurt here. my friend finds the rice goes well with banana. don't ask. those on kitchen duty in Daruz Zahra usually will cook the side dishes i.e. sambal, stir fried vegetables, soup etc.

Breakfast
served at 7.00am (15mins before school) usually consists of tea, bread (its not your typical square bread - oh i miss Gardenia-) and beans gravy i.e. dhal.

Lunch
served at 2.30pm (after our post Dzuhur nap / before Asr) usually consists of Spiced Rice and Fried Fish (we will have chicken or lamb on Fridays). vegetables are limited here.

Dinner
served at 8.30pm; usually consists of tea with bread or Spiced Rice and Tuna or Boiled Eggs.

don't worry though cuz during school break time at 9am and after Asr around 5pm, the good people living outside brings in i.e. packet fried rice or rice with chicken, pizzas, samosas and loads of other knick knacks to sell. a shop in Daruz Zahra sells instant pratas, fried eggs and home-made fries too. sometimes the shop bring in fresh vegetables i.e. cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes and fruits too.

its quite cheap but on a daily basis, you will definitely blow your student budget therefore balance between eating what the school serves and what your taste buds want to eat.

so far that is what is on top of me head. inshaAllah the above will aid your packing.