Wednesday, 4 April 2012
7.30pm @ Masjid Muhajirin
Bidayatul Hidayah (a book by Imam Al-Ghazali)
taught by Ustadha Sharifah Maimunah Al-Habshi
you don't need a husband, you don't need a child, you don't need to go to a certain place to study... you basically want the feeling of joy and happiness from the supposed tool. change the way you look at being "complete".
you want something so bad it becomes a desire and desires are always bad as it ultimately makes one suffer. you will be happy if you don't have desire. you can want it but don't desire and cling on to it. make du'a for it then let go.
and so let go i did.. not out of sadness but i came to realise Allah will make this heart be good not Tarim. HE might use Tarim but only HE knows what is best for his servants... and then i was lighter. i still make focus meditative du'a for Tarim but it is really Allah and Allah only will decide. either way im good i told myself. its a good struggle reminding myself that daily.. training of the soul as Ustadha Maimunah Al-Habshi will say. the thicker the layer of ego the more training i'll need.
then a couple days later on a fine subuh of Saturday, 7th April 2012.. while i was deep in my sleep at a blessed time of 0127hrs, Ustadh Muhammad Ibrahim Alkaff, the blessed administrator in Tarim texted me...
7.30pm @ Masjid Muhajirin
Bidayatul Hidayah (a book by Imam Al-Ghazali)
taught by Ustadha Sharifah Maimunah Al-Habshi
you don't need a husband, you don't need a child, you don't need to go to a certain place to study... you basically want the feeling of joy and happiness from the supposed tool. change the way you look at being "complete".
you want something so bad it becomes a desire and desires are always bad as it ultimately makes one suffer. you will be happy if you don't have desire. you can want it but don't desire and cling on to it. make du'a for it then let go.
and so let go i did.. not out of sadness but i came to realise Allah will make this heart be good not Tarim. HE might use Tarim but only HE knows what is best for his servants... and then i was lighter. i still make focus meditative du'a for Tarim but it is really Allah and Allah only will decide. either way im good i told myself. its a good struggle reminding myself that daily.. training of the soul as Ustadha Maimunah Al-Habshi will say. the thicker the layer of ego the more training i'll need.
then a couple days later on a fine subuh of Saturday, 7th April 2012.. while i was deep in my sleep at a blessed time of 0127hrs, Ustadh Muhammad Ibrahim Alkaff, the blessed administrator in Tarim texted me...
"Alhamdulillah..
Visa skrg sudah dibuka....
ana nak kepastian terakhir dari antum sebelum ianya diteruskan."
yes, Alhamdulillah Visa applications are opened and a text message from my now wide eyed wide mouth wide awake self followed to say.. "mashaAllah..."
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