a couple days ago during Syama'il Muhammadiyah class, Ustadh Zahid Zin mentioned that in 2002, he along with a couple few friends from Madrasah Aljunied had planned to further their studies in Tarim, Yemen in my intended school of Darul Mustafa (Darul Zahra is the sisters' wing).
none of them made in there except one, Ustadh Mohammed Ibrahim Alkaff also known as my current Tarim-Singapore administrator. his reason, he is of Hadrami descent and has family there. Ustadh Zahid and friends, upon advice from the late and blessed Ustadh Abdillah Al-Jufri then went to pursue their studies at Abu Nour University in Syria.
something stabbed my heart upon hearing it... i might not be able to go afterall. i cried and cried and cried.. days later i heard this lecture on youtube by Yasmin Mogahed on "why my prayers are not answered?" as Ana Bibi had earlier adviced... a true mukmin is happy wherever HE places her. good advice i have yet to digest... im pondering still saddened by the realization upon Ustadh Zahid's words.
sister Yasmin's words spells truth... my intention to go to Tarim is to be aware of Allah's closeness to me.. to know Allah.. to learn be the best of servant to Allah. i think along the way i have faltered and thought it will come true just cuz my reasons are valid. so what Dora? Allah knows best where to place you. HE will provide you the ilmu.. the knowledge.. the purity of hearts.. Tarim is just a tool. if it is not written for me to be in Tarim... then... *heart breaks in pieces*
i know Allah has my best of interest. HE will provide for me. HE is sufficient for me. i am a servant... then why do my heart still bleeds in yearning for Tarim. may Allah guide this heart to reason as HE has always did... in the meantime may Allah provide me patience and ease in life in this part of dunya.
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