7th post - the topic of marriage

at 31, still juggling everything else at scratch's worth.. what is my business in considering marriage? IBADAH. cuz as my dear Ustadha Fatimah Musroom would say... "your rewards will be in abundance... mashaAllah. you will be in a calmer state and Allah will open up a whole new life to learn and reap legal-couples-only rewards from..."

building a new family takes work and i salute them who are in the sacred instituition. i am even more respectful of those who take great care in applying the adabs in approaching marriage and even greater care in learning the sunnah-s associated with steps towards marriage and henceforth...

but speak to the general community here about marriage about the walimah... and religion will be laced with customs and traditions... it is actually colourfully interesting, heartwarming really... when our elders fuss about to ensure the event goes well and "on par" with the norms of society. to a certain extent though, it is uncomfortable to watch when it goes awry.. Astaurgfirullah. may Allah forgive me if my words deemed judgemental for that is not my intention.. i as a new student of the deen, am just at times, confused.

gone are the days parents introduce the potential couple to each other.. the children themselves now bring their beloved other to introduce to their respective parents. dating is now widely acceptable even to the point of encouraged. i sound like a 80-year old grandmother but conservative as i may seem, i believe in the hikmah of following the ways of Rasulullah s.a.w. where couplehood initiation is concerned. it reasonate well in my heart. it is taught as such for one reason, to protect women. Islam protects women, period.

i remembered a couple years ago my heart sank when a family member of whom i usually turn to for religious advice told me she is not of "ulama's thoughts" where a lady and a man cannot meet i.e date. she said its really alright as long as they "don't do anything" in which she clarified meeting with each other for dinner is fine, going to the bookstore together is fine as long as there's no kissing and hanky panky. i went home feeling confused that day. that aside, marriage here is also somewhat uttered in the same verse as a SGD50,000 wedding for both groom and bride.. *shudders* man... that could sustain me for a decade in Tarim. make it two decades... mashaAllah.

always i'll have the wise words of brother Nouman Ali Khan from Baiyinah Institute.. (may Allah grant him and his family the best of ease and happiness in akhirah.. amin).. repeated in my heart and mind (also plastered on my wall)..

"stop making excuses. one of syaitan's job is to make bad deeds no big deal
so when somebody says, "you know, that’s a really bad idea.."the first thing that syaitan puts in your head is,
"come on man, lighten up, everything is haram for you.. live a little…"
a dead heart is when you are unaware of heedlessness.

ya Allah bring me to Tarim... make me a good, healthy and vibrant student there and if my rizq is as such, then have me marry there, ya Rabbi. for im more confident it will be held with care by the good ulama-s so my marriage would start off in the simple granduer of one reason.. that it'll be pleased by Allah. for only You know what is best for me. amin. 

i caught myself saying Alhamdulillah just the other day for still being single.. and actually meaning my words (its a weird feeling being thankful wholeheartedly rather than "forced" in the misued word of "redha"). i was being grateful cuz seeing my own family and friends go through married life, stump me.. the sacrifices are unimaginable, the compromises bewildering, the trials are heartwrenching.. subhanAllah.. no wonder the rewards are special for married couples.

there's definitely serious issues to think about.. mine's just a little atom.

hi i'm Dora. alhamdulillah my name has been granted a nod in Dar Al Zahra...

im just waiting for the Tarim-Singapore administrator to call and say,

"salaam! Visa has opened, once processed..
collect your Visa in KL and off to Tarim you go.. mashaAllah!"

also since we are being honest and all...

i can't cook..
i don't take out kitchen trash..
AND i sleep like a starfish.

*cue dora's right & left angels falling off shoulders*